By far, listening is the one skill that people are missing in their communication.
We talk, talk, talk but we don't listen. In fact, some people think that listening is waiting for their turn to talk!
But it's not.
The purpose of listening is to understand what the other person's reality is so they can transfer it to you, and you can actually communicate through their view of the world, not your view of the world. In order to communicate effectively, you've got to understand what the other person really means.
Maybe not even what they're saying, but what they really mean.
So... how does somebody know if you are listening? Do you stare them in the eyes? What do you do with your hands?
Here's a quick lesson on how to let someone know that you are listening. Of course, there's a lot more to it, but this is a great start.
When you learn this, it's going to help you tremendously get the message through to the other person so they know that you're listening.
Even if you are listening and they don't know it, it doesn't count.
Here's my fast time for quickly becoming a better listener.
Physiology is key in listening.
One of the ways people know if you're listening to you is by the body language that you use when you're listening.
One of the things you want to do is you, of course, want to look at them.
But... don't stare them in the eyes and freak them out because you're staring at them!
There's a very subtle difference in the psychology of nonverbal communication.
The physiology you want to use is this:
< Listen with your finger curled under your lip
This is an excellent listening physiology, particularly for standing up.
There is also a sitting physiology, which I'm not going to be able to
show you here today.
To get a quick improvement in any communication, be sure you listen with the intent to understand the other person and use this physiology as you nod at each point they make.
Not like a bobblehead doll, but
when they make a point, you nod to let them know that you've got the
When you use this
physiology, people will understand in an unconscious level that you are
listening to them and you're paying attention. This is going to go a
long way towards being an effective communicator and changing the way
you communicate in a very positive way.
Because effective communication is the foundational skill that underlies all other skills, our mission is to create frameworks and strategies that anyone can use to quickly become a more effective communicator regardless of their background or current skill level.
How can this benefit you and your team?
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