LESSON 8

How To Create Rapport

How To Create Rapport

Rapport is a feeling of commonality that enhances any communication.

Today we're going to talk about how to create rapport.

But first of all, let me apologize for having on a wrinkled t-shirt I found in my office.

I needed to change my shirt before I shot video, so I looked around my office and I found this wrinkled t-shirt.

So I'm wearing it and I hope you'll accept that now.

Back in lesson 4 I talked about the importance of making a good first impression. This is the opposite of that!

I would never wear a wrinkled shirt on our first meeting.

But, you've already got an opinion of me, so I can get away with this today. I would never wear this on a first meeting.


Rapport Is Natural

The bottom line on rapport is that people like people who are like them.

We all create rapport quite naturally - here's how.

When you meet somebody, you start at the very broadest thing that everybody's got in common, and you work your way down to the smallest thing you can find.

The best example is weather. We all talk about the weather.

If you go to Phoenix in July and someone says, "it sure is hot here", you're thinking, yeah, of course it's hot here.

But weather is the thing everybody's got in common so conversations with people we don't know many times start with the weather because rapport comes from commonality.

So you start talking about the weather, then you say, "where are you from?"

And if they say, I'm from New York, you say, "oh, do you know Joe?"

Of course they don't know, Joe, but it's an attempt to find commonality.

Or maybe they know where you used to live or they know what school you went to or someplace you worked.

So you start to find commonality from there. You might even find out you are from the same hometown or you went to the same high school, or maybe you even knew somebody when you were kids together.

And that creates rapport, doesn't it?

We unconsciously try and find the smallest thing we can find to align ourselves with somebody. It the natural process of building rapport.

Just ask a few questions and you'll find a small point that you can bring in common.

Use Voice Tones To Create Rapport

The next thing you can do to create rapport is create some commonality by matching your voice tones to the other person.

If they're a fast talker, you should talk fast if they're talking fast.

And if they're a slow talker, you want to talk slow.

You don't want to talk fast with a slow talker. If they're a slow talker, you want to match your speed of your voice and your voice tones to them. If they're soft, you want to be soft.

If they're a little rougher, you want to be a little bit rougher.

Warning: never try and duplicate an accent because that doesn't work.

Try and match your voice tones and speed.

If they give you a bone crusher handshake, give them a bone crusher back. And if they give you a soft one, be soft back.

You Can Still Be Yourself

The bottom line on rapport is to find something in common and work down to the smallest thing you can and then try and be as much much like them as you can.

That doesn't mean you're giving up being yourself. It just means that you're trying to enter their world so that you can communicate more effectively.

Our Mission

Because effective communication is the foundational skill that underlies all other skills, our mission is to create frameworks and strategies that anyone can use to quickly become a more effective communicator regardless of their background or current skill level.

How can this benefit you and your team?

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